DEAR BONNIE: I am wondering if you have any control of who can come through during a reading. I was at a gallery reading at a restaurant where you were delivering messages from heaven to different people in the room. One of the ladies looked shocked that you brought through her ex-husband and even said his first name. Is there any control of who is stepping forward from heaven or is it just who wants to come through? — Christina

DEAR CHRISTINA: There is some control although some mediums believe you should not ask for someone special who you are missing in heaven to come through, leaving the choice up to the spirit world. I do not believe this to be true. In the case where a client is coming in for a private reading, I ask my clients “who are you missing in heaven?” That question for me is like a calling card to the other side asking that person in heaven to step forward into my awareness and it serves as a calling card to the other side. Only one time in the last decade have I been told by the spirit world that their person could not come forward at that time and it was for a different reason.

What you saw was a gallery reading where there are a lot of attendees who are gathered in hopes of their loved ones coming through and hoping their loved ones are the ones that make their presence known to me, allowing me to bring them through. In a gallery reading everyone is listening to the messages and really getting a sense of how that medium works and delivers messages. It’s also comforting to some who would like their friends or relatives to be with them as they experience this special communication from heaven and Earth and shows without a doubt that love never dies, and those bonds can never be broken.

Can your ex-husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend come through? Yes, they can and sometimes they have the strongest message. When you leave this world you have a life review, it is not to judge but more about how you can see places where your soul might have reacted differently — it is giving you a large view of your life. With an ex-husband coming through there might be a message of love such as “I just want to say sorry, I could have done better.”

These messages are ones that ask for forgiveness and can be the strongest message you might receive because when we can except a message of, “I am sorry” from heaven, it gives us an opportunity to feel compassion and let that forgiveness enter our hearts. It is not only healing for the recipient but the person who is in heaven that is holding onto a sorry in their hearts as well. With a private reading although it does not happen often there is a person in spirit who wants to come through that my client may not want to hear from and that’s OK too but there usually is a beautiful message from that person that might be even more meaningful if we open our hearts, but it is never forced on you.